Went out for lunch with my colleagues today and one of them commented that I seem to have a very stressless and slack life at work, considering the fact that i ‘work for a few months, then go climb for another few months’. then he also went on to say how i was away during the planning stage of a mega event (the largest event in this year for my company), where almost everybody was roped in to help out in the planning & preparation. And when i came back, i simply ‘attended’ the event without doing much, like quite shiok like that.  Although he said it jokingly and I know he did not mean any harm, i felt bad and even guilty. Not that i did anything wrong, but somehow i feel that pursuing my own dream has encroached upon others and i don’t like the feeling. Yes, i know it might seem unfair for other people to cover my work while i’m away, especially so when they are already up to their neck doing their own. And I also shouldn’t assume that everybody is supportive and encouraging of what I’m doing. I truly appreciate those who have offered to help and provided encouragement, but i guess when it comes to the crunch, everybody just wants to cover their own backside, which is very normal. Yes, mountaineering can be a very selfish sport which probably brings no gain to the people around you, unless you are the kind who gets your source of inspiration by living vicariously through another person’s adventure. i am already dreading the time when i have to leave for Everest, and having to do up the long handover list, ‘delegating’ my work to my boss (yes how ironic) & colleagues (if we do not manage to find a temporary staff to cover my work) .  i really don’t like the feeling of owning someone a favour. Or perhaps i really shouldn’t think too much.