Archive for November, 2007

Freedom

Saturday, November 24th, 2007

Freedom does not come easy.

A life rooted in the past will not bring forth any change to the present outcome.

I need to move forward, to live in the now and to look to the future.

Regrets

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

verb (used with object)

1. to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.).

2. to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one’s vanished youth.

noun

3. a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.

4. a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.

 

How does one live a life without regrets?

My life seems to be full of them.

Regret for wavering in my decision…regret for uttering a harsh word…regret for jumping to conclusions too early…regret for not spending the time to build bonds and relationships…regret for making the wrong judgment call.

Especially when one is in a position to make or break another’s livelihood. Mistakes made were more costly than others.

Caught in a dilemma between living out my ideals and doing what was pragmatic..it had been a tough call. To reward based on performance or potential, what is the tipping point to decide who is the more deserving person?

A trusted friend and a mentor who guides and advises me, he is the best person that I have worked with. Ever supportive, going beyond the call of duty to lend a helping hand. Always a problem solver who took upon himself to see things through.

Not that he is incapable, in fact, he has the capacity to deliver more than most people. Not that he did not do his job, he puts in his best for every task that he is given and he delivers.

Yet, setting aside all emotions, I made a conscious decision to set the criteria based on the amount of workload done for the year. So, I had placed him lower than what others would usually do when solely judged by potential and capability.

Turn of events indicated that it was a wrong judgment call and I had let my most trusted right-hand man down.

Apart from disappointing him, I know that I had discredited myself.

Even if he can forgive me, I will not be able to forgive myself.

 

 

A Brief Encounter

Sunday, November 4th, 2007

She shared her travel experiences of younger days, of how she defied her parent’s orders to visit some of the world’s troubled countries such as Yugoslavia and Israel etc on a travel scholarship.. During a visit to Aswan dam in Egypt, a machine gun was stationed at every 100m, yet in her feisty manner, she requested to visit the dam, citing the reason that she would only be at that place once in her life. She did it with the security guards escorted her throughout the visit.

 

Her passion for life extended to helping the less fortunate. While visiting a polio centre, she noticed that the chickens reared by the centre were all without feathers..only to learn later that the feathers had been plucked off to make feather dusters. Puzzled over the fact that there were a high number of polio victims despite the low cost of the vaccine, she found out that it was the remoteness of the area that caused the vaccine to spoil by the time it reached the needy people. Setting her mind to do something about what she had experienced, she worked with polytechnic students to design a cooler box to store polio vaccine so that the vaccine last longer when transported to remote areas. Plus designing a chicken incubator that allowed more livestock to be reared.

 

In a life where our daily conversations revolve around bread & butter issues and climbing the corporate ladder, it is rejuvenating to learn that there are others who had chosen to follow a different path. To make a difference in whatever capacity that they have.

 

When I told her of my plans to scale Everest next year, she made an interesting comment of the significance of this trip:

It is not the journey, not the suffering but a reconditioning of the soul.

 

Words of wisdom from a 65yr old who looks barely past her fifties.

 

Dr Elsie Yu. I like that.