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Prayer

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

wrote this on 23 September 2008, revisited it on 5 March 2009, a timely reminder to remain grateful in times of despair.  

Prayer

 

I have a prayer tonight

 

May those who are hurt and with wounds unseen be healed

 

For those who are physically disabled, make them complete

 

To give those whose dreams are dashed, the strength to make new ones.

 

For those who are betrayed, to give them faith and renew their hope in the goodness of mankind

 

May we all learn to listen to the gentle voice of wisdom

 

41 days

Saturday, February 7th, 2009

What is different now

is a sense of equanimity

to accept what is to be

unlike the previous nightmares that I had

and the palpitations that I felt as the day approached

what is left now is

a quiet sense of action,

a sense of knowing,

a sense of acceptance.

It is no longer a struggle to question or to ponder what if one fails

but a sense of focus to do the best that one can be.

This journey is not the end, but only the begining. 

 

 

Faces in Life

Sunday, September 7th, 2008

I have often wondered what stories hold behind each faces that we meet.

 

The cashier at the petrol station handling my change, the cleaner at the fitness gym who offered me a lock that she found when I could not find mine, the students waiting at the pedestrian crossing as we wait for the traffic light to change its signaling, the working class professionals waiting in the taxi queue as I ambled along beside them.

 

I guess each has his/her own stories to tell.

 

Stories of struggle, pain, loneliness, moments of joy, bliss and happiness.

 

And as I stood in front of the row of infants in the nursery, basking in the quiet joy of watching the newest addition to the family, I know that for every page of happiness, joy, felicity that she writes, moments of anger, disappointments, frustration and pain would follow through in her growing years.

 

Just like the cycle of life that comes in phases

 

Birth, Old Age, Sickness and Death

 

All inextricably linked

 

We cannot ride the bicycle of life for others” – my wise teacher says

 

Some lessons may take us a lifetime to learn while others may take more than a lifetime to pick up.

 

And all we can do is to observe and revel in the brief escapades of happiness and know that this is only a moment just like the temporal pain that we feel in our heart.

 

Only the truly enlightened ones will recognise that all emotions are but energy, and that all emotions are the same…until enlightenment is reached, we would still be riding the bicycle of dukkha.

Awareness

Monday, July 21st, 2008

A life’s journey begins with awareness

We cannot see infra red, gamma rays, ultraviolet rays yet we know that they exist.

Could thought be one of the frequencies that exist, just that we cannot see it or have a means to measure it yet?

Is there really a difference between the living and non living things, between human, animals and plants; when all are nothing more than protons and electrons coming together?

What is reality?

But a figment of what we choose to see at this moment in time and all that exists before is a mixture of probabilities.

What does it all mean?

It means to be aware of the impact and effect that our thoughts and words can bring.

When the time comes, more sense will we make out of this world and our place in the universe.

Have you?

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

What is the underlying unease that fills us up whenever we are bored or in a state of doing nothing?

What is the gnawing feeling that I know I can do better than what I am doing now?

What is this sense of lack of fulfillment in spite of all the achievements I have received?

Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wanted to find out more about yourself?

Have you ever thought that there is a part of you awaiting to be uncovered?

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.

Let SWET show you how…

the Call

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

I confess that I was a closeted life-voyeur.

Seeking gratification from reading people’s life adventures from the stories that they posted on their blog.

Preferred to stay at the sidelines and observe.

Gaining a sense of what the world is through someone’s eyes.

Not pausing to think for awhile what does it mean if I were the one in the thick of the action.

Not stopping to think that perhaps, I could create experiences too in my life.

Perhaps, other priorities have taken over; such as career aspirations, or perhaps, the need to take care your families – an elderly parent, a school-going child or the less fortunate family member that pushes our own plans further and further away.

If we are able to fulfill our obligations and be free to pursue our own inner calling, what would it be?

When the call comes knocking, do we hear it?

When we hear it, do we answer it?

Will we have the fearlessness to leave what is familiar and secure? Will we finally set out on a venture of the heart that will change us to our very roots?

– Harry R. Moody “The Five Stages of the Soul”

u + i

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008

A conversation with Esther set me off thinking.

She remarked: ‘If not for Everest, we would not have known each other.”

 

And that started off when we were talking about the different clubbing crowd in both Zouk and St James, and that I would have been classified as the ‘unglam’ party, a group that would probably not mixed with her ‘cool’ party.

 

Well, it is kind of strange how people of different shapes and sizes and personalities got together because of one mountain.

 

Is it a mountain or the passion to make a dream come true that brought the six of us together?

 

Working in a team of such diverse backgrounds is not easy, especially when all of us are equally self opinionated and hold very strong opinions of certain issues. Heated discussions are getting more regular with each important decision to be made.

 

Over the years, I was able to experience the shifts in our team dynamics, following the Bruce Tuckman description of group development. Forming-Storming-Norming-Performing, how our group started off being civil to each other 4 years ago and now that we can express our dissatisfactions at each other, yet at the end of it, know that we can still count on each other to see the team through.

 

Still remembered when I made a mistake in the team, and after receiving all the chiding from my team mates, Joanne ended her scolding with a sms: “We still love you.” And Lihui was gracious enough to forgive for my blunder. Their gestures truly warmed my heart.

 

From Storming Stage, we moved on to our Norming Stage where we set ground rules on communications and expression of views amongst others. It is kind of interesting that my team gave me the feedback that I should not stop trying to convince them until all of them understand what I am trying to say. A tall order for someone who is quite taciturn in nature but I guess that if good quality decisions have to be made, a certain level of good quality conversations would have to take place.

 

What does it mean to be part of this high performing team? Is it just to come together, raise enough funds, climb the mountain and call it quits?

 

I think what held us together is more than just a mountain, more than the passion to make our individuals’ dream come true, but rather the quiet acknowledgment that a team has the power to move and change things. Our unity brought the best and worst out of us as we stay in close quarters under extreme conditions in the mountains and at sea level, the constant balance between work, training and fund raising.

 

Margaret Meade said “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

 

Indeed, that is what our team believed and till date, we have engaged the youth through our school talks and sharing our journey, in the hope that they would climb their own Everest.

The power to change the world comes from the power within.

Give Life Intention

Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

29 December 2007
A day of giving thanks and setting intentions for the new year ahead

A meaningful event that Barney and Agnes started at Minds Transformation and I am very glad to be part of it.

To be in a community of people who are taking the step forward to change themselves and to develop themselves to the fullest of their potential.

The power to change oneself is the same as the power to change the world.

 

I give thanks to these people whom have been part of my journey in climbing Everest, giving their unwavering support and contributions to our cause,

my family who has been there for every of our public events and fund raising initiatives,

my friends who rallied behind me lending their voice and hands in spreading the message,

my superiors and colleagues who bore the gap and held the fort while I was away in the mountains and

my good fortune that I have managed to stay mishap free through all these mountaineering expeditions.

 

Is climbing Everest a selfish sport, a sport that only a few enjoy?

Or in my case, a bout of suffering of cold, fatigue, headaches and breathlessness.

So much so, I have been mulling over this for years and wonder why did I continue on this journey?

 

The purpose of it has not really hit me until that afternoon when Barney asked me to share my story.

In which, a few people came up to me and shared that they were inspired to pursue their own dreams after listening to my story of climbing Everest.

To run their 5km run or to begin their exercise regime.

To climb their own Everest.

 

It is only on this path that I embarked on the road of self-discovery, that I found that I had the capacity to do so much more.

That I start to uncover this innate confidence to overcome any seemingly fearful challenges and insane lifestyle that I would not usually start on.

Wake up at 4am for a run, crazy, run a full marathon, insane, yet, these are the ‘new’ stuff that I’ve been pushing the boundaries.

 

When is the last time that we do something impossible?

Take the step forward, find your dream and climb your own Everest.

Over MSN

Thursday, December 20th, 2007

B: she won’t be coming to our home anymore.
M: oh what happened?
B: childish thinking
M: huh? example…
B: if hungry eat, not I hungry then u eat.
M: and u r upset coz she cares for u?
B: childish thinking

 

Careless words
Unspoken actions
Unfulfilled expectations
I care that’s why I’m hurting

Can I be more than what I am now?

Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

– Marianne Williamson

 

All of us have fears.

What do we do with our fears?

Do we allow it to manipulate us?

Do we flee from it and let it continue to haunt us?

Or do we face up to it and give our best shot?

So far, my way of handling is to stand up to it.

No matter how badly hurt I know that I may be, I will still want to face up to it.

It is the only way to be free of these shackles of uncertainty, of the deep unknown, of the deep-seated self doubts.

Can I really climb Everest?

It is this uncertainty that drives me to take on this challenge.

Can I be more than what I am now?